I think we might have to bring in UN observers to make sure we’re doing our elections right.
The Minnesota recount, probably the most ridiculous recount since the Gregoire/Rossi race in 2004, has been simultaneously enthralling, embarrassing, and revealing (by which I mean it confirms what huge dorks we are for following elections in the way that normal people follow football).
Losing ballots is among the more embarrassing things you can do in an election. It could be worse—I suppose you could lose an entire machine. (Election officials: please keep Nicholas Cage away from your machines.) Minnesota has over 4000 precincts, and several million ballots were cast in this election. You might say it’s a miracle that so few ballots get lost…that we hear about, anyway. Or if you’re a pessimist, a cynic, and mildly obsessive-compulsive* (guilty as charged), you might say that we suck for having so many problems. (What’s a few dozen ballots between friends bitter political opponents anyway?)
For a while, there were conflicting reports out of Minnesota. Maybe the “lost ballots” never existed, and had just been double-counted the first time? (Not so much.) Maybe the 133 ballots got tired of Minneapolis and decided to run away to St. Paul (identical or fraternal?) where they found 38 new friends, and together they all pretended to be uncounted ballots. Incidentally, that Ramsey County incident lends further weight to the We Suck theory.
So what’s the deal? Are elections too hard for mere mortals to handle? Or is this just another manifestation of good old-fashioned home-grown American suckage?
*In the soft sciences, this is referred to as the OC Disorder.